Wrenching

Again this afternoon I felt transported back 11.5 years ago to a horrible morning.  Then I was a teacher.  Today I'm a mom.  Then I sheltered my students - third and fourth grade boys and girls - from the terror.  Today I read online while my boys played and did homework.  I waited until they were playing outside with my husband tonight in the safety of our backyard before I dared to turn on the news.  I stopped watching the news many years ago - but tonight I wanted to know who and why, so much more elusive - WHY???????  I cannot scream it loud enough, I do not scream it at all, except inside - from every bit of my soul.

I know there are so many who are feeling this reeling, wrenching pain.  So many there who feel the physical pain that can't be taken away regardless of the amount of pain medication and that it will take so long to get past this day - to come to terms with this day, because one really never forgets this kind of thing.  This terror.  Wounds are torn open, actual and those that our friends cannot see, ones we hide with a smile and, "Fine."

But we are strong and resilient and we will be stronger and we will heal and remember and honor and revere those who stepped forward today and those who will never be the same and will never be forgotten because they were among the innocents.

This is the prayer I posted on my Facebook feed after I read first about what had happened...

Prayers for those in Boston and those reliving tragedies as they see this develop. Prayers for those helping, rescuing, and caring for victims. Prayers for those families that will never be the same.

I will continue my prayers tonight and for so many more nights to come.  And when this has faded from the headlines, something will remind me of this day and I will pray again.  I have faith.  Faith in our country and faith in the people.  Most importantly, faith in the Lord.  My faith gives me hope that He will teach me something that will make tomorrow a little bit easier to bear here on this earth.

Thank you for reading.  Please pray - or send positive thoughts, should you choose not to pray -  for those who are suffering tonight.  It will not end when the newspaper, Facebook, Twitter, and television headlines fade - remember and honor, regardless of the headline.

~Nicole