Lost Spring

Well, my recovery from gall bladder surgery went pretty well.  On Monday, May 14th I reopened my shops, shifted around inventory and started adding items to WoodstreamPapery.

Then on Wednesday night I woke with such horrible pain.  I eventually drove myself to the emergency room at 1am on Thursday morning.  I was diagnosed with a 1.8cm kidney stone, not passable - it's only 4mm smaller than an inch.  I had a procedure done that drains the kidney to reduce inflammation and allows it to heal before surgery, yes, more surgery.  I was supposed to go home on Friday.  Then the fevers started.  At the worst on Friday, in the wee hours, it got to 105.1 degrees.  I was started on antibiotics on Friday morning and continued to improve.  I came home on Tuesday afternoon after a six-day hospitalization.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted and still healing.  I am on antibiotics and trying to care the best I can for myself and my family.  My shops are closed, again.  I want to garden, but I can't.  I want to cook, but I am thoroughly drained and can't.  I want to crochet and sit to make cards and felt cashmere and wool to cut apart and create new things... but I am not able to muster the energy.

I am grateful for my husband who has not lost it after a spring full of unexpected health issues... having to take over all of my duties so many times -  and still go to work everyday.  I am grateful for travelling nurses.  I am grateful for friends and family who are able to pick up my children from school, bring meals, and clean my home - eventhough it humbles me so very much.  I am grateful that my husband can slip out of work to attend the milestones that I'm missing... things that I planned to attend, but am saddened to miss.  I am grateful for modern medicine and hospitals and doctors and nurses and techs and the housekeeping people at the hospital.  I am grateful that there is air conditioning in my home... the plastic dressings make me so uncomfortable in this heat, but fortunately I can stay inside and remain more comfortable.

This is my lost spring.  I've had lost summers and lost winters, but I think that I am really missing spring so much more.  It is a time of new life, new growth, newness everywhere.

peonies among the mint at my in-law's home, May 12

So in order for me to get through the next two weeks until surgery on June 8, and then the recovery afterward, I am focusing on renewal.  I am focusing on how God is speaking to me in this time that I am unable to be the person I thought I was and who He is directing me to be during this time of healing and afterward.

I appreciate those of you who will pray for me and my family during this time, keeping us in your thoughts, it really does mean a lot and I believe in the healing power of prayer.

Thank you for reading and have a blessed day!  Please go out and enjoy the world around you!