Then on Wednesday night I woke with such horrible pain. I eventually drove myself to the emergency room at 1am on Thursday morning. I was diagnosed with a 1.8cm kidney stone, not passable - it's only 4mm smaller than an inch. I had a procedure done that drains the kidney to reduce inflammation and allows it to heal before surgery, yes, more surgery. I was supposed to go home on Friday. Then the fevers started. At the worst on Friday, in the wee hours, it got to 105.1 degrees. I was started on antibiotics on Friday morning and continued to improve. I came home on Tuesday afternoon after a six-day hospitalization.
Needless to say, I'm exhausted and still healing. I am on antibiotics and trying to care the best I can for myself and my family. My shops are closed, again. I want to garden, but I can't. I want to cook, but I am thoroughly drained and can't. I want to crochet and sit to make cards and felt cashmere and wool to cut apart and create new things... but I am not able to muster the energy.
I am grateful for my husband who has not lost it after a spring full of unexpected health issues... having to take over all of my duties so many times - and still go to work everyday. I am grateful for travelling nurses. I am grateful for friends and family who are able to pick up my children from school, bring meals, and clean my home - eventhough it humbles me so very much. I am grateful that my husband can slip out of work to attend the milestones that I'm missing... things that I planned to attend, but am saddened to miss. I am grateful for modern medicine and hospitals and doctors and nurses and techs and the housekeeping people at the hospital. I am grateful that there is air conditioning in my home... the plastic dressings make me so uncomfortable in this heat, but fortunately I can stay inside and remain more comfortable.
This is my lost spring. I've had lost summers and lost winters, but I think that I am really missing spring so much more. It is a time of new life, new growth, newness everywhere.
peonies among the mint at my in-law's home, May 12
I appreciate those of you who will pray for me and my family during this time, keeping us in your thoughts, it really does mean a lot and I believe in the healing power of prayer.
Thank you for reading and have a blessed day! Please go out and enjoy the world around you!