Thursday, May 24, 2012

Lost Spring

Well, my recovery from gall bladder surgery went pretty well.  On Monday, May 14th I reopened my shops, shifted around inventory and started adding items to WoodstreamPapery.

Then on Wednesday night I woke with such horrible pain.  I eventually drove myself to the emergency room at 1am on Thursday morning.  I was diagnosed with a 1.8cm kidney stone, not passable - it's only 4mm smaller than an inch.  I had a procedure done that drains the kidney to reduce inflammation and allows it to heal before surgery, yes, more surgery.  I was supposed to go home on Friday.  Then the fevers started.  At the worst on Friday, in the wee hours, it got to 105.1 degrees.  I was started on antibiotics on Friday morning and continued to improve.  I came home on Tuesday afternoon after a six-day hospitalization.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted and still healing.  I am on antibiotics and trying to care the best I can for myself and my family.  My shops are closed, again.  I want to garden, but I can't.  I want to cook, but I am thoroughly drained and can't.  I want to crochet and sit to make cards and felt cashmere and wool to cut apart and create new things... but I am not able to muster the energy.

I am grateful for my husband who has not lost it after a spring full of unexpected health issues... having to take over all of my duties so many times -  and still go to work everyday.  I am grateful for travelling nurses.  I am grateful for friends and family who are able to pick up my children from school, bring meals, and clean my home - eventhough it humbles me so very much.  I am grateful that my husband can slip out of work to attend the milestones that I'm missing... things that I planned to attend, but am saddened to miss.  I am grateful for modern medicine and hospitals and doctors and nurses and techs and the housekeeping people at the hospital.  I am grateful that there is air conditioning in my home... the plastic dressings make me so uncomfortable in this heat, but fortunately I can stay inside and remain more comfortable.

This is my lost spring.  I've had lost summers and lost winters, but I think that I am really missing spring so much more.  It is a time of new life, new growth, newness everywhere.

peonies among the mint at my in-law's home, May 12

So in order for me to get through the next two weeks until surgery on June 8, and then the recovery afterward, I am focusing on renewal.  I am focusing on how God is speaking to me in this time that I am unable to be the person I thought I was and who He is directing me to be during this time of healing and afterward.

I appreciate those of you who will pray for me and my family during this time, keeping us in your thoughts, it really does mean a lot and I believe in the healing power of prayer.

Thank you for reading and have a blessed day!  Please go out and enjoy the world around you!

1 comment:

  1. I feel for your loss Nicole. I have had a whole life lost, season after season of being stuck indoors is the most horrible experience of my life. But, I too have friends and family that make my life worth living and so I keep on fighting to live and enjoy every minute of every day. I cherish every day I wake up and can see the birds and squirrels at the feeders. I cherish every day that I can wake up and hear the birds singing! If it weren't for my faith and hope for a beautiful paradise to come I would not be able to go on each day.
    I pray for you to keep a positive attitude and sit back and relax and enjoy being waited on. You deserve it in so many ways. Knowing you will be well once again and can go back to doing it all again yourself is powerful medicine.
    Much Love,